Dear Crabby, Can I Have My Cake and Eat it Too?

Dear Crabby,

I have a bit of a controversial pet peeve.  I become extremely agitated when another driver stays in a closing lane until the last minute and then cuts in front of me.  However, I have to admit that I will do that myself sometimes if I have a good reason. Does this make me a bad person?

Sincerely, E.M. Cake

Dear Mr. Cake,

Well, I have to say that at least you are being honest with us, which is more than I can say about a lot of other people these days.  When I was a youngster my mother used to say, “You can’t have your cake and eat it too!”  I often wondered what that meant, but then I got it.  When I was in the fifth grade, my teacher told me that I had to make a choice: I could either go out for recess or skip the next six weeks of recess to be part of the school play.  Of course I chose to go out for recess with all my buddies!  Then one night, about six weeks later, I attended the school play with my family.  I saw a few of my classmates do the most amazing job at acting out this play. They received accolades and praises for weeks over what a great job they had done.  I said to my teacher afterwards, “Now I wished I could have been in the play too!”  And she smiled at me and said, “Well, we can’t have our cake and eat it too, can we?” So to me, “having the cake” is just being able to hold on to it and maybe admiring how good it will be, while “eating the cake” is getting the immediate gratification, but then finding out that it is over very quickly.  This hits home all too often when I realize that I have eaten too much cake and my pants are a little too snug around my waistline. If I want to lose that extra weight and enjoy a slimmer silhouette, I need to show some discretion and avoid desserts for a while.  For my own purposes, I have modified the saying in my mind to be, “I can’t have my waist and eat my cake too!”  This brings it full circle and allows me to make sense of this cliche.  So, as far as your traffic dilemma goes, I would say that you should mind your own vehicle, and if someone else makes you mad – well, just picture them not getting any cake at the next party!  Besides, maybe they have one of your “good reasons” for doing what they are doing at that moment – we will never know. Good luck, and let me know how it turns out.

Sincerely, Dear Crabby

Stuck in a rut? Need some biased advice from a crabby old baby-boomer? Ask

About Dear Crabby

Stuck in a rut? Need some biased advice from a crabby old baby-boomer? Read regularly by thousands and loved by some, Dear Crabby answers questions weekly to life's challenges. Send him a note at

Speak Your Mind