Dear Crabby, Daughter Wants To Get Married, Should I Meddle?

Dear Crabby,

My daughter just told me that she wants to marry her boyfriend now instead of finishing college.  Should I meddle or let her live her own life?

Sincerely Sally Sayno

Dear Mrs. Sayno,

When I think back to all the parents who wanted to stop a marriage from happening, I realize that if the parent had succeeded I would not have any grandchildren nor would I have any children. That’s right, my in-laws were not exactly doing back flips when I proposed to the missus. I didn’t realize it at first, but shortly after I proposed I noticed that the in-laws began to take a huge interest in my future.  My future father-in-law would ask me if I was planning to get a better education, or if I was looking for a better job, or even if I had thought about dating some other girls in the meantime.  Come to think of it, I think he even tried to set me up on a blind date.  It was not until 25 years later, when my own daughter’s hand was being asked for, that I realized what he must have been thinking.  When that doofus, I mean that young man, finally asked my daughter to marry him I thought I was going to die.  Not because I was some sappy, old dad that couldn’t bear to see my sweet little girl get married, but because that blockhead was as stubborn, narrow-minded, and arrogant as I was at his age. When I asked him what he planned to do for a living, he said he wanted to stay home with the kids while my daughter followed her dreams in the workplace! When I asked him who he voted for in the last election, he said some cockamamie comment about not voting because all elections are rigged by the secret society anyway. Then, he really made me blow my gaskets when I asked where he planned to live and he said, “I thought we could move in with you guys until we saved enough money to buy a place of our own.”  After all this nonsense, I ran inside to see if Mrs. Crabby had any better luck with our daughter in talking her out of all this.  As I entered the kitchen, the two of them were looking through our wedding album and they were both crying!  They turned to look at me and at that moment, I started crying as well, albeit for totally different reasons.  We all hugged and stayed quiet for a while, even the blockhead!  So, as you can see, we parents can try to meddle and even try to full-out steer our kids in various directions, but ultimately they make their own choices in life. I did have a little better results when my son told me he was thinking about proposing to his girlfriend though.  I handed him a video of a live childbirth and a book of car payments and told him to go through both and then let me know when the wedding would be.  About ten years later, I was wearing a tuxedo and smiling ear to ear!  So good luck and remember to select the proper instructional material.

Sincerely, Dear Crabby

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Stuck in a rut? Need some biased advice from a crabby old baby-boomer? Read regularly by thousands and loved by some, Dear Crabby answers questions weekly to life's challenges. Send him a note at [email protected].

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