Dear Crabby, Do You Have Any Hobbies?

Dear Crabby, Do You Have Any Hobbies?

Sincerely, Robbie Needs a Hobby


Dear Robbie,

Yes. You’re reading it. I excel at being grouchy, ill-natured and irritable – it’s a gift and a curse. And this bad-tempered ability allows me to deliver to you my peevish opinions, in a blunt and cynical nature. The words I craft here, while prickly in tone and harsh to hear will make you a better person, I’m sure of it. But outside of this snappy wisdom, I do enjoy other hobby-like activities.

Football, cars, and unfinished projects around the house are some of my favorites. However, I also enjoy watching a teenager try to parallel park – I always stop and stare at them. I give hand-signals to indicate they have a little more space yet to go – but they really don’t – then I laugh when they go to far. I throw my arms up in the air as if they didn’t comprehend my thoughtful direction.

I like to haggle at garage sales, but never buy. I also like to explain in detail the events of a TV show to someone I know doesn’t care for that program. And I like to ask waitresses if the “Specials of the Day” are affected by leap years. Just to name a few.

I also like to spend time with my grandchildren. I teach them interesting nuggets of life that their patents don’t share with them. We watch football and cartoons – SpongeBob SquarePants is a hoot and half and that Mr. Krabs character has an appeal that is refreshing in kids’ programs.

Anyhow, I like my hobbies to be just ripe enough to give my priest a laugh during confession, but not so over the edge to get me in serious trouble. Mrs. Crabby looks beautiful when she rolls her eyes and shakes her head – I don’t want to ever loose that in my life.

Now go find your own crotchety, ill-humored hobbies, I’ve got to get back to mine – these letters don’t answer themselves …


Sincerely, Dear Crabby

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