Dear Crabby, Do you like spring cleaning?

Dear Crabby,

My husband and I really like spring cleaning. It seems to bring us together and give us a common interest. I just wondered if you enjoyed it and if you and Mrs. Crabby had any other activities that you enjoyed doing together?

Sincerely, Sandy Sappy

Dear Ms. Sappy,

Yes, I love spring cleaning and getting outside to work in the cold wet yard, just about as much as I like having a root canal or a colonoscopy. I am not sure if you have been paying attention for the last three years or not, but I am not a work-on-the-garden-and-talk kind of guy. My favorite part of spring clean up is hearing that it is all over. Mrs. Crabby learned years ago that if she wants a clean yard, she needs to hire some cheap teenager to do it for her. The extent of my spring clean up is taking the DearCrabbyChristmas wreath off the front door and pulling the garden hose out of storage for her. The first year we were in our current house, I was attempting to help plant some sort of greenery for the missus in the backyard. I thought I was doing my good deed for the year. Somehow when I jumped on my shovel to dig a hole, it lanced right through the cable line to the house. It was like cutting off the water supply to the enemy in the old days. I thought I might not make it through when the cable company told me it would take three to four days to get it fixed. About two years later, I came out of self-proclaimed retirement again to try and help. This time the wrong placement of a petunia cost me a sprinkler line. A soaked outfit and a couple hundred bucks later, I sat there wondering why I ever thought to come out and do this again. No, me and the wildlife have a basic understanding of each other. I leave it alone and it leaves me alone. I like and respect our agreement with each other. When they get out of line, I call the weed and pest control specialist to do what they need to do to tame them all back. When I am out of line, it finds ways to remind me to get back  to my lazy boy and mind my own space. It’s a simple agreement and we are both a peace with it. Mrs. Crabby has the same agreement with my cable and electronic setup. She is to leave things alone and not try to change anything and they will cooperate enough to get her to her favorite channels and let her watch her shows. When she goes button pushing and not paying attention she gets on the wrong input and then she cannot see anything but a blank screen. Again, it’s simple but it works. So you go ahead and enjoy your bonding time in the great outdoors. As for me, I will enjoy my cable and my lazy boy.

Sincerely, Dear Crabby

About Dear Crabby

Stuck in a rut? Need some biased advice from a crabby old baby-boomer? Read regularly by thousands and loved by some, Dear Crabby answers questions weekly to life's challenges. Send him a note at

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