Dear Crabby, Do you recommend a wedding planner?

Dear Crabby,

We’re getting married this year and are just getting started with planning our wedding. I heard that many people use wedding planners these days and wondered what your experience was with that. Do you think they are worth their expense?

Sincerely, Hope Fully

Dear Ms. Fully,

Well, in my day the wedding planner was called the bride-to-be! Mrs. Crabby planned every part of our wedding, right down to the last detail. Having a Polish Catholic background, Mrs. Crabby had over 300 people invited to the wedding while I only had about a dozen from my side!  The wedding mass was at noon with the reception immediately following. Around 1:00 a.m. – yes, a.m. – I finally told the new Mrs. Crabby that I was falling asleep while standing and we needed to wrap it up. I had never experienced a wedding like that and was completely overwhelmed by the amount of celebrating this side of the family was accustomed to. I always thought that weddings were simple to plan. I mean, I didn’t have to plan very much for ours!  All I needed to do was get fitted for the tuxedo that the missus picked out and then show up on time – both of which I nearly failed!  However, when our daughter was getting ready to plan her wedding, I started to see all of the work and decisions that went into this half-day activity.  I, very ignorantly, suggested that she get one of those planners to do all of the work for her.  She said she was surprised that I suggested that, but that she would be happy to do it. About two months later, they showed me the plans in progress and they all looked great. Then they showed me the estimated cost of this wedding and the cost of the wedding planner and I nearly had a heart attack! It was then that I was made aware that being the father of the bride meant that I was expected to foot the bill for this whole thing!  I immediately started going through the invitation list and crossing off names of anyone I didn’t like or didn’t recognize!  Mrs. Crabby was a little offended when I crossed her parents off the list. After they calmed me down and we came to some agreement on the price, we began to enjoy the process together. The wedding planner ended up being a very type A personality. She was snappy and strict about how everyone walked and where they stood at the rehearsal. She gave us a half hour explanation about how sacred the white runner was and how it represented the bride’s purity and beauty to all who watched.  She then yelled at two of my daughter’s groomsmen for not listening and for messing around. The next day at the wedding, everyone was standing up front when “Here Comes The Bride” began to play. My daughter and I watched as those two groomsmen unrolled the white runner down the aisle. It was completely defaced with words like “Danger” and “Beware” and “Point of no return!”  Near the end was an outline of a dead man with the words, “Crime scene, man loses freedom!” Everyone was laughing uncontrollably, everyone except the wedding planner that is!  I think those groomsmen got even with her, and we all survived with good memories of the event!  So, good luck and give it a shot.

Sincerely, Dear Crabby

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About Dear Crabby

Stuck in a rut? Need some biased advice from a crabby old baby-boomer? Read regularly by thousands and loved by some, Dear Crabby answers questions weekly to life's challenges. Send him a note at

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