Dear Crabby, Here Comes the Bride: Who Pays?

Dear Crabby,

My daughter is getting married. She’s older, established in her career, and making good money. Since she’s our only daughter we’d like to help out by contributing financially. Are the parents of the bride still expected to foot the whole bill?


Monica Motb

Dear Monica Motb,

Boy, do I feel your pain on this one. I have one daughter and when she got married ten years ago I thought I would need to sell a kidney on the black market to pay for it! According to something called The Huffington Post, weddings in the US average around $30,000! My first house didn’t even cost $10,000. Now I know times have changed, along with the economy and things like that, but some of the wedding ‘essentials’ these days are just ridiculous. For example, releasing butterflies. You order them online and hope they arrive alive as promised. Oh, and you have to make sure once they do arrive they are kept in a 70-degree environment and released outdoors during daylight hours. All this magic can be yours for up to $475, plus shipping! I’ve always said all you need to have a wedding is a bride, a groom, a preacher, and a couple of witnesses. Everything else is just window dressing. DearCrabby

When my little princess got married she had her heart set on a sweets table. Of course I thought this was completely crazy – especially when I saw the price tag. Since my daughter’s wedding was in November, I suggested we just head to Meijer and buy all the 50-percent off Halloween candy. You should have seen the looks I got from her and Mrs. Crabby! I was informed that all the candy needed to be in the wedding colors and be placed in various-sized clear containers so the guests could see what they were filling their bags with to take home as favors. Mrs. Crabby assured me this was how things were done and that if I didn’t agree to it I would be breaking our daughter’s heart and crushing the wedding dreams she’d had since her Barbie doll married her Ken doll when she was seven. Now what in the world was I supposed to say to that? I felt like Spencer Tracy in Father of the Bride (or if you prefer, Steve Martin in the remake). So, I gave in to what my daughter and wife wanted. In the end it turned out okay and I figured that after the wedding my new son-in-law could worry about footing the bill for whatever my daughter wanted. Did I mention they now have twin girls? Hehee. I’m really gonna enjoy watching the shoe being on the other foot someday. So, I guess my advice to you is to help out financially the best you can. After all, your little girl only gets married once… well, hopefully.

Sincerely, Dear Crabby

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