Dear Crabby, How Brutal Will This Winter Be?

Dear Crabby,

I recently moved to the Detroit area from Seattle and the snowstorm this past weekend was wicked! Is this what I can expect this winter and how should I prepare?

Stan Shivers

Dear Mr. Shivers,

Welcome to Michigan! We usually like to say, ‘Don’t like the weather? Wait five minutes and it will change.’ However, I think the cold and snow are here to stay. ‘Alll aboard the Siberian Express!’ Apparently calling it a Polar Vortex is so 2014. Gotta love these catchy names the weather folks come up with. Speaking of which, since when did we start giving winter storms names like we do for hurricanes? Crazy. You should have moved here last year when the temps were still in the 50s. Now, bitter Michiganders, I mean seasoned Michiganders, will tell you that insane amounts of snow are the norm and you need to suck it up, buttercup. However, since you are new, I will cut you some slack. On the plus side if you have any kids, they’ll love the potential number of snow days, or even cold days they will probably have this year. Back in my day there had to be a minimum of two feet of snow before school was called off. And even then it wasn’t a sure thing. Now, anything under a foot is fair game and our precious peanuts cannot possibly be expected to wait for a bus if the temperature dips into negative numbers. DearCrabbySo, just be prepared to have alternate child care ready to go at a moments notice. As for how you should prepare, I suggest having shovels, a snow blower, or a combination of the two. Of course you can always pay someone to take care of all the pesky white stuff. That’s how I made my money as a kid. My buddies and I would hustle to the neighbor’s houses on our streets and offer to shovel their driveways and sidewalks for the bargain price of one dollar! Mrs. Jones even threw in hot cocoa as an added incentive to keep shoveling throughout the day. I have no clue what the going rate is these days, but if we’re going to keep getting snow by the foot, you may want to pay a professional for the initial clean up and then throw a kid a bone to help keep it clear and safe. Although I did see a kid in my neighborhood shoveling while on one of those fandangled hoverboards. Not sure how safe it is, but it sure was entertaining. And we Midwesterners are quite creative when it comes to snow maintenance. I assume you’ll be commuting, so always make sure you have window washer fluid, ice scraper, small gas can, and a couple blankets wouldn’t hurt either.

Hope that helps, good luck, and bundle up!
Dear Crabby

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