Dear Crabby, How do I honor someone who has passed away?

Dear Crabby,

A very dear friend of mine passed away the other day. I really want to do something nice to honor them. What is the best way to do that?

Sincerely, Molly Memorable

Dear Molly Memorable,

This is a very good question, and I think the answer varies for everyone. There are the traditional ways of sending flowers to the funeral home and sending notes to the loved ones who are still alive.  There are also other ways that take more effort.  I have seen some people write out these long well-written letters to the survivors, and that means a lot.  I know that one time a guywrote down the exact date and time of a specifically impactful discussion he had a with member of my family that had passed away and it really meant a lot that he was so specific. Another way is to create a memorial that accurately represents that person’s interests and their life’s message, and display it where it will impact others. Or still others have the gift of poetry, which I do not, and they can write a beautiful piece that will forever immortalize the one you are honoring!  I personally think that the best way to honor someone is to live a life well lived.  If the person you are honoring was a respectable and well-polished individual, you should show the rest of the world that you learned something from them and live your life in a respectable way.  The main reason for honoring them with your life is because it is the living who will see how you honor them.  I know a good friend of mine recently passed away in Rochester and he was known for always caring about others and always helping out without others knowing about it.  Those are two great qualities that I am not always known for, believe it or not!  But as so many people were sharing and honoring my friend, I started wondering what people would say at my funeral.  It was a humbling thought, especially if that lady I yelled at from my car the other day was allowed to speak.  And then there was the man that I cut off on the road who wasn’t too happy with me!  Great, now I am afraid to have a funeral!  A friend of mine once said, “You need six people to be pallbearers at your funeral, will you have enough?”  It really scared me when he said I could not count my mother or my wife as part of the six!   However, it is in this reflecting where we can make the tough decisions to change what we do not like about ourselves. I once heard it said, “If you want to change the world, start with the man in the mirror!” So I guess these are good times to reflect and make changes where necessary. Let me know how it works out.

Sincerely, Dear Crabby

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