Dear Crabby, I Don’t Understand Fantasy Football!

Dear Crabby,

My husband wants me to play on this fantasy football league with him, but I really don’t get it. He thinks it will be something we can do for fun, but I suspect he just wants an excuse for me to let him watch football all weekend. What do you think about this fantasy football stuff?

Sincerely, Beth Beenthinkin

Dear Mrs. Beenthinkin,

I think you know your husband better than he thinks you do. However, I do know a couple that mutually enjoys this fantasy football stuff together. As a matter of fact, I got sucked in to one of these leagues in recent years and this couple is in my league.  The wife is the only woman in the whole league. And to make matters worse, she beats most of the guys every week! I have never been all that into football, but I do enjoy a good game when I see it. Unfortunately, I live in the Detroit area – so the “good” games are few and far between. But I do remember the days when Barry Sanders and Luther Elliss gave all of us reason to be excited on Sundays in the fall! Anyway, my friends convinced me to try this fantasy league and follow my selected players for a season.  I went to their draft night and even learned how to read the draft sheet – sort of. I was told that the computer would automatically show us the best players during each round and for each pick.  Next to each player’s name was a number, like a 2, 5, or 9. So I assumed that was their ranking for that position.  I was sure to grab only the highest ranking fellas- most were all 3 or 4’s! Well, it turns out that these numbers are the weeks that these guys are not playing due to the “bye-weeks.” So on week 3 last year, I found myself with no wide receivers to play. My friend, who was in charge of the league, told me to make some quick trades to get a wide receiver before that week’s games began.  Well, this may surprise you, but I am not that great on the internet.  I managed to find the page I needed and looked over the free agents. I saw a name I recognized, Plaxico Buress. I remembered when that kid set the Big Ten record for catches at Michigan State! So I clicked on him right away and selected “trade.” Unfortunately, I had traded my quarterback, Tom Brady, for him by mistake. I quickly went back in to try to get Brady back, but I ended up dropping my running back by mistake too. In a little under fifteen minutes, I had really made a mess of things and ultimately ended up with my same team, with the addition of Plaxico. I then received a phone call asking why I had just spent $45 to trade the league’s best quarterback and several other players, just to get them back and pick up a guy who was serving time in prison!  That’s right, it was $5 per trade and the reason Plaxico Buress was a free agent was because he was serving time in prison for shooting his own leg while at a night club! I guess he wasn’t the only one shooting himself in the foot that year! So anyway, to answer the question – no, I really do not understand fantasy football. But, I think you could have a good time if you wanted to try it out with your hubby. See what you can make of it! You never know – you may be that “only woman” who ends up beating all those men every year!

Sincerely, Dear Crabby

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Stuck in a rut? Need some biased advice from a crabby old baby-boomer? Read regularly by thousands and loved by some, Dear Crabby answers questions weekly to life's challenges. Send him a note at

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