Dear Crabby,
My wife really gets into these New Year’s resolutions and always makes big plans for the upcoming year. She wants me to make plans too, but I don’t want to. Maybe my New Year’s resolution should be to figure out how to get out of these things. Any ideas?
Sincerely, Mel Mediocre
Dear Mr. Mediocre,
Well, I for sure know a thing or two about getting out of commitments! For the first several years or so of our marriage, the missus would come up with wild commitments of grandeur that she wanted us to live by in the new year. They usually consisted of eating healthier or working out more often, or spending more time with each other reading or playing board games. I would go along
with it and even get enthusiastic with her. However, I would begin to fret a little as New Year’s Eve came closer. There were even a few times I wasn’t sure what I would do if it lasted more than a week. Nevertheless, usually by the second week of January, life went back to normal as we knew it. The demands of life and lack of any real commitment on my part helped to settle us back into our old ways in no time at all. That being said, there was one time that it lasted a little longer than I expected. That was the year she read about the benefits of goat’s milk. She read how healthy it was supposed to be for the body and how it was full of vitamin B and Riboflavin. I’m not even sure what either of those are or why I need them, but I can tell you this – that goat’s milk tastes like wood glue! Amazingly, it got worse! She read another article about goat milk soup and made the thing for dinner one night. The whole house stank to high heaven, and she told me to take the first taste. Every fiber in my body begged me to find a way out, but I couldn’t. I opened wide and swallowed it down. I should have listened to my body! It all came back out a few minutes later anyway. Mrs. Crabby was so upset that she went and looked at the article again to make sure she did it right. Well, she made it right, but she misread the title of the article. It actually read “Benefits of Goat Milk Soap!” Oh my, after a few days I, too, saw the humor in that mix up. Anyway, a few weeks later, we were all back to normal with our plain old milk and our plain old soap again. I guess it’s good to experiment. Some changes may even stick for the better. Good luck, and let me know how you fare!
Sincerely, Dear Crabby
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