Dear Crabby, I want to write a book

Dear Crabby,
I have always wanted to write a book. Do you think the average person can become a published author? Any idea what the first step would be?
Sincerely, Beverly WannaBe

Dear Ms. WannaBe,
Well, it’s funny you should ask me that. I have just recently finished the first draft of my very first book. The process has been interesting, to say the least; I’ll get to that in a minute. As far as your question as to whether the “average” person could write a book, I would say, “No!” I don’t think very highly of the average person, though. To me, the average person cannot drive properly, can never order fast enough at a restaurant, and can’t figure out that most politicians lie more than they eat! Therefore, it depends on your definition of the “average” person. As to how to get started, I think it was either Homer Simpson or Lao-tzu that said, “The journey of a thousand miles begins with the first step.” Forty years ago, did I ever think I would be a published author? Absolutely not! But a few letters to the newspaper and a couple hours here and there, and now I’m going to be a published author – just like John Grisham (or something like that). After you determine the concept and the major purpose of your book, known in the publishing world as a book proposal, you write it down and send it off to hundreds of publishers. After months of not getting a single response, you call a handful and give them a piece of your mind! At least figuratively. Then, if you are lucky and one of these people give you a shot, you get assigned to an editor, who immediately does everything possible to get on your nerves! The editor I had was a total nut job! Imagine someone telling me I need to be nicer and that I need to use proper English! I very diplomatically responded, “My column and my pen name is ‘Dear Crabby.’ Why would I do either one of those things you mentioned, nit wit?!?” Anyway, I was so good that they ended up giving me several editors to work with – something about they kept quitting or asking for new assignments. I don’t mean to romanticize the process. I mean, not every writer will have the same experience as I did! So, good luck and remember to look for my book, “Dear Crabby, How did it all begin?” coming soon.

Sincerely, Dear Crabby

Stuck in a rut? Need some biased advice from a crabby old baby-boomer? Ask

About Dear Crabby

Stuck in a rut? Need some biased advice from a crabby old baby-boomer? Read regularly by thousands and loved by some, Dear Crabby answers questions weekly to life's challenges. Send him a note at

Speak Your Mind