Dear Crabby, I’m already bored with my New Year’s resolution to eat better and workout. How long until I can give it all up?
Sincerely, Kimmy A. Burger
Dear Ms. Burger,
I appreciate your honesty about being bored with the whole resolution thing. You may have noticed I like to be direct and honest too. So my suggestion is to lie.
That’s right, mislead everyone. Way back when, before Mrs. Crabby – when history was current events, I dated a girl who smoked. Even though smoking was not bad for you back then, and all the “cool” kids were doing it, I didn’t like it. I told her and she quit. I was ecstatic! We hung out almost every day for a couple months.
One day I found a pack of cigarettes in her coat pocket. The look on my face must have said it all – she confessed she had been smoking all along and had never quit. I couldn’t believe it – my good influence was just a joke. To add insult to injury, all our friends knew she was still smoking and hid it from me.
All those times we were together, no smoking. Knowing the truth now, she just started smoking around me again and I found I missed the days of her lying to me. At least when I didn’t know, she was not smoking, and that was good for both of us. We stopped seeing each other soon after.
Maybe you don’t want to lie outright to everyone like she did. However, you could stretch the truth a bit. When you go for that burger at lunch, tell your coworkers you had a healthy breakfast. Try telling your friends you went by the gym on the way home three times this week – you don’t have say you didn’t stop and go in, do you?
When the truth finally comes out that you’ve given up on your New Year’s resolution, it will look like you tried and you may get sympathy out of the deal – ask for an ice cream sundae instead – have a good laugh and move on. Maybe you’ll do better next year, or better yet, make the resolution you want to make when you want to make it and stick to it.
Sincerely, Dear Crabby
Stuck in a rut? Need some biased advice from a crabby old baby-boomer? Go to www.DearCrabby.org and ask your question.
You can also head on over to my Facebook page and tell me how wonderful I am.
About Dear Crabby