Dear Crabby, Is Crittenton Hospital Really Changing its Name … Again?

Dear Crabby, Is Crittenton Hospital Really Changing its Name … Again?

Sincerely, John Pine


Dear Mr. Pine,

It sure is. Soon, Crittenton Hospital will be called … wait for it … “Ascension Providence Rochester Hospital.” A cumbersome name, yes. Too long, yes. Stupid idea, yes.

Dear Crabby sits infront of his laptop

Dear Crabby Gives Advice

Whatever marketing genius thought that was a good idea should check themselves into the psych ward. Seriously, I’ve never understood why a new owner changes a landmark name. I would think, part of the purchase was for the very recognizable name itself.

Speaking of names, your last name (Pine) reminds me of another local landmark name change. Can you think of anyone in casual conversation who says, “I’m going to a concert at DTE Energy Music Theatre.” No, you can’t. While in print and on the radio, the official ads will use that name, patrons still say, “Pine Knob” or just “The Knob.” DTE bought the naming rights in 2001 for a 10-year/$10 million deal. Hard to believe they continue that deal when it’s clearly a waste of money. It will always be Pine Knob, especially because of their close proximity to the Pine Knob Ski Area and Pine Knob Golf Course.

Crittenton Hospital opened August 15, 1967, in Avon Township (now Rochester Hills, and that’s another name-change story). Ascension bought the hospital in October 2015 and soon changed the name to “Ascension Crittenton Hospital” – keeping the namesake and adding “Ascension” – understandingly. But now they’ve gone too far.

They deduce that replacing “Crittenton” with “Providence” will give the hospital a more familiar name because it’s been used in metro Detroit since 1910. Perhaps they should do their homework, Crittenton has been in metro Detroit since 1897 and in the Greater Rochester Area for the last 50 years!

“Ascension Crittenton Hospital” works as is. They’ve already replaced all the signs. Hey bigwigs at Ascension, save your patients the cost of changing all the signs (again) to a name they’ll never use … let alone, to a name they’ll never like.

Hopefully, I’ll won’t need to visit or check-in to the hospital anytime too soon, either way, it will always be Crittenton Hospital to me!

Sincerely, Dear Crabby

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About Dear Crabby

Stuck in a rut? Need some biased advice from a crabby old baby-boomer? Read regularly by thousands and loved by some, Dear Crabby answers questions weekly to life's challenges. Send him a note at


  1. Sydney Ann Zaremba says

    Agree completely Crabby!!

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