Dear Crabby, Is it Safe for My Kids to Go Trick-or-Treating?

Dear Crabby,

I’ve heard what all the experts have said about whether or not I should send my kids out trick-or-treating, but I know you won’t sugarcoat it. What are your thoughts?

Thanks!
I. Crane

Dear I Crane,

Just last year we were talking about whether or not Halloween, well trick-or-treating, should get moved to Saturday so parents like yourself didn’t lose what is left of your minds trying to rush home to get your ghosts and goblins ready for running around to collect a pillowcase full of cavities, I mean candy. And teachers were also applauding this idea as well because they’re tired of facing a classroom full of students the next day who are still having sugar withdrawals. While the holiday wasn’t officially moved, as we looked ahead to 2020, it appeared as if the calendar gods had smiled upon us – Halloween was on a Saturday! Of course, all this rejoicing was premature because none of us knew how this year would feel like an April Fool’s Apocalypse that pretty much laughed at any plans we tried making. Oh, and did I mention that in addition to Saturday being Halloween, there will also be a full moon, a blue moon, and we’ll be turning our clocks back one hour for daylight saving time? Because who wouldn’t want an extra hour of 2020, right?  

Dear Crabby sits infront of his laptop
Dear Crabby Gives Advice

You asked if it’s safe to send your rug rats out for a night of candy hoarding. Based on my research, the Michigan Department of Health seems to suggest it’s still safe to do so as long as kids do things like social distance, wear a mask (even if their costume already has one), trick-or-treat with only with people you live with, and only go to houses with safety measures in place. Sounds like a load of laughs to me! There is even a website where you can find safe and fun Halloween activities based on the COVID levels in your area. Now I haven’t watched a lot of science fiction, but it sure feels like we’re living out something Orson Welles could have directed. Speaking of houses with safety measures in place, if you’re handing out candy this year, the two most popular ways of doing it seem to be making a candy chute from your front door to the sidewalk to keep kids and their germs at arm’s length. Shoot. I don’t care about germs. This idea is brilliant because it keeps the kids far away from me! Why on earth didn’t anyone think of this before? And if some little devil thinks he’s going to egg my house, I can shoot a water balloon or something sticky down the chute and get him before he gets anywhere close to my door. The other idea is having candy already wrapped up in cellophane pouches so no one is riffling through the candy bowl with their germy hands and taking more than they should.

The bottom line is you can send the kids out trick-or-treating, but I don’t know how much fun it’s gonna be. You probably should just buy each kid a bag of their favorite candy and watch scary movies. That’s what I plan on doing. I’ve already bought a big bag of Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups and have no plans on sharing them with anyone. And since I don’t do scary or slasher movies, I’ll probably watch a classic with Boris Karloff or Bela Lugosi.  

Happy Haunting!

Dear Crabby

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About Dear Crabby

Stuck in a rut? Need some biased advice from a crabby old baby-boomer? Read regularly by thousands and loved by some, Dear Crabby answers questions weekly to life's challenges. Send him a note at [email protected].

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