Dear Crabby, Must I always get a sunburn?

Dear Crabby,

I always seem to get a sunburn no matter what I do to prepare myself. Is this always going to be the case? Or will someone magically invent a lotion or cream that will allow me to soak up the rays without suffering from the pain afterwards?

Sincerely, Bernie Burnt

Dear Bernie Burnt,

That is an age-old problem that many people would like to see solved.  If I was a younger, smarter man I would focus more of my efforts on this invention.  As it stands, I too fall victim to this issue like you and many others. However, none of us more than Mrs. Crabby, I would presume.  I still remember when she and I went to Hawaii one year and had the chance to bask in the sun for hours one afternoon.  I usually use a SPF 15 block and tend to do alright. Mrs. Crabby is a bit more fair-skinned and should be using SPF 50 on a regular basis. This time, she chose to use a SPF 4 with some oil added in hopes of getting golden brown for our return home. After we both fell asleep in the sun for a couple hours, we woke up to the Missus feeling a little crisp. As we stood up to go back to our hotel room, I noticed a nice white outline of the loops on her swimsuit etched upon her back.  It was the funniest sight.  She got back at me when she wrote “Dork” across my back the next day when I fell asleep – only that time she did use her SPF 50 and it worked perfectly! I don’t know exactly what it is about people that want to get a nice suntan, but I know that they just tend to burn instead. Our good friends Ron and Debby just returned from Florida recently where they had more sun-filled experiences. Ron tends to just turn a little more golden each day he is in the sun, while most people wonder if Debby was ever out in the sun at all.  On this trip, they both sat out playing with their grandkids and forgot to put any sunblock on at all.  They were crisper than KFC by the time they remembered and ended up doing that goofy waddle that us northerners do every year when the sun finally returns to us and we get burned.  It’s funny, you would think that age would bring wisdom, but in some cases it just makes us look older! Anyway, good luck and let me know if you find anything – I’m sure Ron and Debby will buy it too!

Sincerely, Dear Crabby

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