Dear Crabby, My Husband Gets New Stuff And I Don’t!

Dear Crabby,

My husband always wants the latest and greatest electronic gadget, and he won’t let me buy anything!  There must be something I can do to make this fair.  What do you think?

Sincerely Betty Beenshorted

Dear Mrs. Beenshorted,

My father had a saying that he often said to me growing up, “Boys is everything and girls is nothing.”  I didn’t notice it until I was much older, but as often as he said that to me, he never said it in front of my mother!  As I confidently shared that little nugget of wisdom with the young Mrs. Crabby, it didn’t seem to hold the same level of enchantment with her.  As I lay on the couch for yet another night back then, I watched Jackie Gleason lecture his television wife, Alice, as he screamed, “I’m the boss and you’re nothing! I’m the boss and you’re nothing. You got that now?” And Alice quickly retorted, “Ya, you’re the boss of nothing!” It all became crystal clear to me then:  my father was sharing his personal view, and he was completely wrong!  As Mrs. Crabby slowly reprogrammed my outlook over the years, I realized that my spending habits were also influenced by my father.  One year, after spending grueling hours writing out a new budget and lecturing Mrs. Crabby about how she just couldn’t buy any new clothes again this year, I spent a little money without discussing it.  I came home with a brand new John Deere hat, that happened to come with a free snow blower!  I thought it was great! It was self-propelled with six speeds, electric start, and all steel components! Mrs. Crabby was so upset, she threw that hat outside in the snow and told me that I had exactly one minute to load that thing up and get it back to the store where I bought it from.  I told her that it was completely affordable now that we saved all the money from her not buying new clothes, but that only made her more angry.  So, we decided to spend all the money we saved on a weekend marriage encounter instead.  The one life-saving tip I learned from that weekend was to open two separate bank accounts for our “extra” spending.  We started by putting $10 per week into each one and before you knew it, we had tons of money in there.  I could go buy whatever I wanted and she could do the same. We never asked how much and we never cared, as long as it didn’t come from the main account.  I guess the lesson here is that we are all selfish – there ain’t no getting around that!  So while you’re trying to fight it, make some provisions and guidelines to keep everyone in check.  After we got my dad’s saying out of my mind, I learned a new line that remains true for everyone:  “A happy wife equals a happy life!”  Good luck with the big spender, and keep him out of them snow blower stores!

Sincerely, Dear Crabby

Stuck in a rut? Need some answers? Write Dear Crabby with your questions at dearcrabby@rochestermedia.com