Dear Crabby, Should I find a woman for my son?

Dear Crabby,

I have a 25-year-old son that has a college degree, a great job, and is good looking. However he still has not found Mrs. Right yet. Should I take it upon myself to find him the right woman, or just let nature take its course?

Sincerely, Meddling Mom

Dear Meddling Mom,

I can certainly understand your reasons for doubting the system or your child’s ability to pick out the proper spouse. I know for a fact that my in-laws regretted for years that they did not pick out the partner of their choice for Mrs. Crabby! But they were stuck with me and I with them – it’s hard to say who had the bigger challenge! We had our own doubts whether our daughter would come through with a winner or not. As it is, he is a borderline winner at best, but since he is the father of our grandchildren we have to get DearCrabbyalong with him. Mrs. Crabby gives me the same rules every holiday: talk kind and do not bring up anything about politics or his job!

We did have some friends though that thought they would try playing the match-maker role for their child. They ended up setting up a series of blind dates for their daughter with guys that they thought would make good son-in-law candidates. The first guy was a med-school student that was very generous and caring to the parents. It turns out that he did not have much in common with the daughter though so the date was kind of a bomb. The second boy came as a recommendation from some other friends. He was a college dropout that rode a motorcycle and was extremely disrespectful to the parents. The boy had no job, no plans for a job, and figured if he “hooked up,” as he put it, with a smart girl he would be all set for life. It turned out that the daughter really liked this one which shocked the parents! The third blind date showed up a half hour late and then said he had to make this quick because he had another date at 11pm and he did not want to be held up for it. The dad did not even let that date take place; he booted the guy out and told his daughter she was on her own. She eventually found a guy that was a mix between those three guys. They too have a few grandkids from him and have learned to tolerate him just fine. So you see, these things have a way of working out without us. We fret and worry and try to fix it, but it turns out that we are all just being selfish and want what’s best for us. I say let go and let live. Your kids are intuitive, and they will make the right choice in time. Good luck and let me know how it goes.

Sincerely, Dear Crabby

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Stuck in a rut? Need some biased advice from a crabby old baby-boomer? Read regularly by thousands and loved by some, Dear Crabby answers questions weekly to life's challenges. Send him a note at [email protected].

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