Dear Crabby, Should teenagers be dating?

I will be 16 in only 23 months, yet my mom refuses to let me date. She thinks I’m too immature, isn’t that just plain stupid and gross and mean and sick and wrong? It just makes me wanna eat dirt or something, just to get back at her. Do you know of a way to fix my broken mom?

Thanks in advance for being on my side,

Ima Bratt

Dear Young Bratt,

I’m sure you would be thrilled if I took your side and made your mother upset, but I’ve been married way to long to go against any mother’s advice! I think of my day and age when the formal courting process was the proper first step. If I took a fancy towards a you g lady I was to make an appointment with her father and seek his approval first. Then he would make me declare my intentions and go over the ground rules. If I passed this part I was to seek the young maiden’s attention through gift or song and follow up with a request to join her for dinner sometime. After passing all these check points we were to enjoy each others presence only in group form for the first year. This kept the process at a slow enough pace that nothing silly could happen. By the time anything silly could happen most of us got shipped off to war between ages 18 and 21. I guess if you kids today don’t want to follow all those guidelines you could at least use the Federal Governments guidelines for voting or drafting- 18 years old! If you are old enough to choose the next leader or defend our homeland, you are just about ready to deal with those young boys. I’m sure that will not sit well with you, but let me also tell you this; that mother of yours will be around for a longtime and you will be sitting across from her at many holiday meals- so be nice to her! It will also help your dating life and that of your future husbands if you two get along now! Trust me!
Hope that helps.
Sincerely, Dear Crabby

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