Dear Crabby,
I was recently made aware of a program called “Couch to 5k.” It is for couch-potatos like myself that want to train to be able to run a 5k race. Have you heard of things like this? What do you think about them?
Sincerely, Happy Potato
Dear Happy Potato,
I am actually aware of this program. Mrs. Crabby brought it to my attention a couple years ago. Unfortunately, I have a bad habit of only hearing bits and pieces of what she tells me. So as she went on and on one day about this program, telling me about all the benefits and how all her girlfriends are into this, I thought I heard her say it was called “Couch to Five Cakes!” I assumed she was planning on joining a cooking club and would be bringing me all sorts of new cakes to try out. I was all for that! A couple 
days later she asked me to drive her to her friends house for the first activity. When we got there, three other couples were standing in the driveway waiting for us. The men were all wearing short shorts and running shoes and so were the ladies. I started laughing and asked what in the world they were planning on doing. My one buddy said he was really surprised that I had agreed to this and that he only came because his wife told him I was coming. Then they showed me the program. That’s when I figured out that they wanted me to train to run a 5k with them. The dumb look on my face and my mouth hanging wide open must have lead them to the conclusion that I did not know what they were talking about. I told them that I thought Mrs. Crabby was going to be baking more cakes. They really got a good laugh out of that. In fact, it lasted for about ten minutes. That was all I needed for motivation. By the next meeting, I had found my running shoes and started running with all of them. After passing the second mailbox, I stopped to throw up in a trashcan, and by the time we made it to the third mailbox, I fell over holding my side. I will tell you that I did in fact complete a 5k a few months later, and in record time! As a matter of fact, the organizers of the event said that nobody has ever taken three hours to complete one of their events and they even offered to give me a ride home after since it was dark! Anyway, I do not know what your situation is, but I can tell you that it will not kill you to try to complete one of these 5k runs. If your spouse is interested, give it a whirl and see how it goes. You never know, you may even break my record someday! Good luck, and happy running!
Sincerely, Dear Crabby
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