Dear Crabby, What Do I Do About the Rising Cable Costs?

Dear Crabby,

My cable bill seems to go up every time I look at it. What are we to do about this?

Sincerely, Bill MeAlways

Dear Bill MeAlways,

I know this story all too well. Every year some nitwit decides to raise my bill at the cable company, forcing me to call up and put my negotiation skills to work. At my house, they have named this annual event C.R.U.D. Day, which stands for “Cable Renegotiation Until Dawn” Day. I call the cable company and start barking at the first person I talk with about how unhappy I am. This usually gets me to a manager right away, and we begin discussing my bill. I usually start by telling them that I only watch a couple stations, like The Discovery Channel and whatever channel John Wayne might be on. They offer me some lessor package, and after we get the price down to where I want it, we agree. Then the next day, Mrs. Crabby is usually furious that we no longer have the Hallmark Channel or whatever other sappy movie channels she watches when I am not there, so she calls and gets all her channels back and we end up paying the higher amount anyway.

Dear Crabby sits infront of his laptop

Dear Crabby Gives Advice

Well, when I had finally had enough of this, I called up the cable company and told them that I was done and I wanted to cancel my account. A friend of mine told me that he did this and they reduced his bill to half and offered him some free hardware in order to keep him.┬áSo, fully expecting this response, I gave them my demands. To my surprise, they said okay and cancelled my account. Unfortunately, this was during the Summer Olympics. Mrs. Crabby and my daughter were in the middle of watching them when all of our service was turned off. I told them I would take care of it – that it would be fixed right away. I called the satellite company and took them up on their introductory offer for free hardware and a free install. I was very excited that I had finally beat the system. That is, until they informed me that it would be two weeks before they could come out. We got to know our neighbors a little better that year as we sat on their couch, watching the Olympics. The satellite was nice, except when it went out during storms. And it was odd that all the channels were three digit numbers.

Anyway, eventually the satellite company raised their prices and the whole cycle repeated again. I guess the lesson here is that all prices will go up and you need to pay attention and ask questions; just try not to do it during the Olympics because we all know that a happy wife equals a happy life, and if mama ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy.

Sincerely, Dear Crabby

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About Dear Crabby

Stuck in a rut? Need some biased advice from a crabby old baby-boomer? Read regularly by thousands and loved by some, Dear Crabby answers questions weekly to life's challenges. Send him a note at

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