Dear Crabby, What if I don’t want to move?

Dear Crabby,

My kids think we should move into a condominium, but I like my house. Just because we are older do we have to move into a little place that we do not know or like? Whatever happened to kids taking care of their parents, not kicking them out?

Sincerely, Crusty Old-timer

Dear Crusty Old-timer,

Well I do not know about your relationship with your kids, but I can see that you are feeling pushed into this decision. I know that I told my mother-in-law for years that she need not worry about downsizing to a condo; I was planning to send her right to a senior home when she showed the slightest signs of not being able to care for herself or her house. That way there were no surprises or things to discuss, she knew my stand and I was firm. My stand worked great until it came time for her to need assistance and I found myself moving her in with us because my wife made me! But it worked fine, we were empty nesters at that point and my wife DearCrabbyenjoyed her mother’s company for some reason. My mother-in-law and I had a clear understanding of our relationship, I used to remind her of how they took care of Old Yeller and she reminded me of how Kathy Bates took care of her guest in the movie Misery! That is enough about her, back to the moving into a condo question. My friend Steve just purchased one and he is absolutely ecstatic about it. The sheer thought of not having a lawn to mow or a flight of stairs to climb was enough to motivate the move. Plus many of my friends move to condos just to get away from their kids! Otherwise they are prone to move back home! Kids are not getting married anymore; they stay single into their forties and are still hanging out in mom and dad’s basement! The condo helps eliminate that uncomfortable conversation where mom and dad kick them out. If there is no room for the kid, then there is no reason for talking about them moving home. If you are feeling pushed though, you may want to push back a little. I know sometimes kids are just checking to see if their folks still have a little fight left in them in order to stay on their own. I know if my kids did not get a sharp response from me about something I didn’t like they would be checking me for a pulse. So think of it in two ways: One, the condo is not such a bad idea and two, it is your decision and no one else’s to make. So good luck and let me know how it goes.

Sincerely, Dear Crabby

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