Dear Crabby, What on Earth is a TARDIS?

Dear Crabby,

On Christmas Day, after all the presents are opened and I’ve eaten my weight in Christmas dinner, the only thing I want to do is kick back and channel surf all the bowl games. But I was just informed by my wife our kid is having friends over to watch the Doctor Who Christmas special? I don’t even know that that is. Do you?

Frank Festivus

Dear Mr. Festivus,

Thanks for your question… I have no clue. Or rather, I didn’t know what you were talking about either when I first got your question. But between my grandson and the Google, I think I have an answer for you.

DearCrabbyDoctor Who is a British TV show (which outta tell you something right there) about a Time Lord (also named Doctor Who. Man, these Brits are original) who travels through space in a blue police box called a TARDIS (why they put their police in a box, I have no idea) with a companion (always some young pretty thing). Now that right there was all the information I needed to know that it’s a show I would never, ever want to watch. But apparently there’s a whole subculture, or um, fandom is what the kids call it, dedicated to this show. Yep. Just like Star Wars and all those Marvel movies, people – young and old – are crazy for this show. They dress up like the characters, quote the characters, and don’t even get me started on the merchandising! Apparently ‘The Doctor’ carries a sonic screwdriver that’s supposed to do all sorts of things I won’t even pretend to understand (again, it’s a British show) and my grandson wanted one for his birthday. Of course when he opened his gift from me, which was a shiny Phillips and flathead screwdriver combo, everyone looked at me like I was the crazy one! So, because some people actually care about this show, it has become a tradition every year to air a Christmas special. And this year it’s being shown on TV and in movie theaters. Hey. That’s the ticket! Send your son and his friends to the movies and then you could have the TV (and the remote) all to yourself! You get your peace on earth and your son gets to watch a nearly 60-year-old Scottish man prance around like he’s the second coming of Mick Jagger. Like I said… it’s a British show.

Hope this clears things up for you. If you need any more wisdom… don’t bother me ‘cuz I’ll be taking my annual Christmas nap.

Happy viewing!
Dear Crabby

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