Dear Crabby, What’s the Best Way to Clean Gutters?

Dear Crabby, What’s the Best Way to Clean Gutters?

Sincerely, Leif B. Gone

 

Dear Leif,

If you’re a DIY sort of person, you’re in luck because there are new gimmicky products released every year that claim they are the best of the best, revolutionary, cutting edge, modern, new age, 21st Century, the future in now, easiest, cheapest, most convenient, visionary, space age, state-of-the-art, you’ll actually enjoy cleaning your gutters, patented systems that you just can’t afford not to have.

Really?

Some kind of make sense. Some look to be more complicated than putting a man on the moon (which is actually difficult these days since NASA lost the data on how to do that). And some are just waiting to be video recorded by some parent’s kid to send in to American’s Funniest Home Videos. I can just hear Ernie Anderson’s captions now … “This guy cleans his clock while trying to clean his gutters” or “Out of the gutter and into the alley.”

Tubes, hoses, vacuums, blowers, ladders, scoops, rakes, extension cords, and more … I’ve tried them all. Most take some time figuring out. Then you have the “ah ha” moment when you get it working. Then 10 feet later, boom, it breaks, snaps, cracks, leaks, falls apart, falls in the gutter (if you’re on the ground), fall on the ground (if you’re on the roof), or just stops.

I’ve found that the best way to clean your gutters is to go up on your roof, and scoot on your behind scooping the leaves, twigs, baseballs, and dead birds out by hand – wear gloves – all the way around. Then, take the hose to the gutters to get all the small debris and loose sand-like shingle shedding. And, you’ll probably have to take apart and clean out at least one downspout per season. Now, I don’t do this myself, I get the kids and grandkids to do it. Mrs. Crabby bakes cookies and makes hot cocoa, and I bark orders like a drill sergeant on day-one of basic training – it’s all good fun.

However, the best way to go about cleaning your gutters is to hire someone else to do it. Sure it costs money and you don’t get the satisfaction of doing it yourself, but hey, it’s better than being embarrassed when that video your kid took of you bouncing your chin down nine rungs of the ladder as you’re trying to hold on to an over-active hose spraying you with ice cold water makes it to TV.

Best wishes on your gutters!

Dear Crabby