Dear Crabby,
I used to have this full head of hair, now my hair is thin and nearly gone. What has happened and what can I do about it?
Sincerely, Bruce Baldness
Dear Bruce Baldness,
Well as you can see from my photo, I know a thing or two about being follically challenged! When I was barely in my thirties I used to go to the same barber as my father and one day I looked at my lap halfway through the haircut and noticed all this white hair on it. I exclaimed, “Where did all this white hair come from?” The barber quickly retorted, “From your father!” Which would have been a clever answer, but my father had jet-black hair up into his fifties. I have come to learn that your hair 
does come from some genetic connection, but there is no way of knowing who or how far back. I still blame my lack of hair on a perm I got in the 1970s. Now don’t go laughing at me yet! There were a lot of men going and getting perms back then! This is when Gene Wilder was the hottest star in Hollywood and the perm was the in style. Anyway, I finally saved up for one and made an appointment. I was looking great for a couple weeks and really had a lot of compliments on it. Then it sort of grew out and I didn’t want to spend the money on another one. It wasn’t six months later and I started noticing that I was losing hair every time I took a shower. Then about a year later I was mostly bald, and then two years after I was completely bald. So I am not sure of the science behind it, but I still think that those perms cause people to lose their hair. So I have just learned to embrace the look. I have never tried the comb-over, I forbid Mrs. Crabby to talk about a toupee! I think the toupee is the French’s way of getting back at us for some treaty we violated a hundred years ago! I am comfortable with who I am and I do not need to put on fake hair or wear hats all day. But if it bothers you, be my guest. There is thriving industry just waiting to help you look like a movie star. I find that if people start to pick on me, I pick back harder and then I feel better anyway. Good luck and let me know how it works out for you.
Sincerely, Dear Crabby
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