Dear Crabby, Who should I listen to?

Dear Crabby,

I get really confused sometimes and am not sure who I should listen too.  My doctor says I should take medicine, my wife says I should lose weight, my buddies tell me I’m fine, and my co-workers tell me to get a life!  I really don’t want to do any of them. Who should I be listening to?

Sincerely, Monte Messedup

Dear Mr. Messedup,

Well, I could get into a lot of trouble answering questions like this!  But then again, that’s what I get paid for!  As far as listening to people, that has never really been my strong suit. My mother used to get after me and so did my older sister, I think I learned to zone out at a very young age. I used to have no problem driving my vehicle and navigating where to go.  Then when I got married I apparently became incompetent or something, because Mrs. Crabby started telling me where to turn, when to stop, and that I needed to look out for the other cars in my way. Now it is only natural that I zone out and wake up startled when she is yelling at me to do something different. I can’t help but remember my friend telling me about hisDearCrabby grandfather. He said that his grandpa died peacefully in his sleep, but everyone else in the car was screaming since he was driving! One day recently my daughter and I needed to switch cars for the day. She has one of these new cars with all the colored buttons on the rearview mirror.  I was backing out of my driveway and tried to adjust the mirror and bumped this blue button that said “Onstar” on it.  Suddenly this women started talking to me.  She called me by my daughter’s name and asked how she could help.  I said that I was her father and that I was just trying to get out of my driveway so I could go to my doctor appointment. She said, “No problem Mr. Crabby, can I help you get there?”  I thought who is this women in the dashboard who thinks she can take place of my wife?  I told her that unless she could get me there faster and find me some good Elvis music on the way that I was probably all set.  She said, “No problem Mr. Crabby, I can tell you the shortest route taking into account traffic and construction this time of day and if you tune your radio to XM channel 5 you will hear “Jailhouse Rock” right now”  You have got to be kidding me?  I was starting to like this lady!  I said, “Can you make me a decaf coffee and tell me tomorrow’s Lotto numbers too?”  She laughed and told me no.  Then she told me to have a good day and press the little blue button if you need anything else. So you see sometimes there are good voices to listen to and other times you need to be selective.  My advice for you is to always listen to your wife because she goes home with you, your doctor’s and buddies and co-workers either get paid to advise you or don’t really care about the outcome. Good luck.

Sincerely, Dear Crabby

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About Dear Crabby

Stuck in a rut? Need some biased advice from a crabby old baby-boomer? Read regularly by thousands and loved by some, Dear Crabby answers questions weekly to life's challenges. Send him a note at

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