Dear Crabby, Why are Halloween Tchotchkes Suddenly Everywhere?

Dear Crabby,

My sister and I went out this past weekend for a little retail therapy in the hopes of scoring some great end-of-the-summer deals. Do you know what we found instead? Halloween! Nearly every store we walked into had full-blown Halloween and fall displays. Is it just me or is it too early for all this?

Mindy Midsummer

Dear Mindy Midsummer,

Ugh. I’d really love to know what sort of calendar retailers are working off from. It has to be different from what I have because my calendar clearly says it’s August. In fact, that reminds me of a Facebook post I saw that said “August already? September is practically next week. Time to pick out a Halloween costume and start your Christmas shopping. Happy New Year, everybody!” Ha! Ain’t that the truth? Listen. I’ve already made my feelings clear on the so-called ‘Christmas creep’ hoopla that happens before the turkey is even carved. Whatever happened to enjoying each season?

Dear Crabby sits infront of his laptop
Dear Crabby Gives Advice

Some people argue that shopping for fall or Halloween stuff is comforting because it gets them in the mood for the cooler weather and in the mode of nesting. Others say it’s a less stressful and less expensive time than Christmas, which generally makes people crankier than usual. Personally, I think retailers are looking to make up for any losses after the upside-down year we had in 2020. Of course, back in my day, things were pretty simple and straightforward. Costumes weren’t fancy and like most everyone else, we bobbed for apples and picked pumpkins to carve. I’m sure my brothers and I did our best to scare our mom and sisters with rubber snakes and spiders. But that’s about all I can recall. Honestly, I don’t remember much in the way of decorations. We certainly didn’t have anything like those huge lawn inflatables that just look sad deflated during the day. And some of these decorations are crazy! Do you remember growing up with one of those ceramic Christmas trees with lights? Well, now they make a Halloween version! Except it’s purplish-black with orange lights. It looks awful – like Halloween and Christmas mated, but people love them, and they sell out the moment they hit the shelves.  

I say if stores keep putting Halloween stuff out early, then we should start the fall festivities early too. A few years ago, I wrote about neighbors BOOing each other, with candy and such, but I prefer booze. So, if you want to swing by my house with beer or bourbon, that’s fine by me. And now that the great toilet paper shortage of 2020 is over, kids can start TPing houses again – the earlier the better. The way I see it, we’re not gonna beat them, so we might as well join them. But I still wouldn’t mind finding a way to stop the Hallmark Channel from airing Christmas movies during the summer. A man can only take so much sappiness.

Happy Merry Thanksmas!

Dear Crabby

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About Dear Crabby

Stuck in a rut? Need some biased advice from a crabby old baby-boomer? Read regularly by thousands and loved by some, Dear Crabby answers questions weekly to life's challenges. Send him a note at

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