Dear Crabby, Why are men so rude?

Dear Crabby,

Why are men blunt about people’s weight? Women are usually kind and consider other peoples feelings, but men do not care. How can we teach these men some manners!

Sincerely Polite Patty

Dear Polite Patty,

I know this dynamic all too well. I remember when I put in an extra ten pounds or so and ran into an old friend from high school once. The first thing out of his mouth was, “Boy you’re getting fat!” I asked if he was serious and he said yes. I thanked him and started watching what I ate for a bit until I my weight went back down. Mrs. Crabby asked if he offended me or hurt my feelings. I said not at all! I was really grateful for the blunt comment, it helped me see what I couldn’t on my own. She said that women would never be that rude. So I asked her what she would do if she ran into a classmate that had gained ten pounds since high school. She said she would compliment her on her hair or her makeup and hope to not offend her in any other way. I asked if she would comment later to her other friends or anyone about the woman’s weight and she said, “Of course I would!” So I said, “Men are considered rude because we are blunt and honest with each other, but women are considered polite because they wait to talk about others behind their backs?” She said, “Exactly!” I said that is ridiculous! Why not just tell the truth up front. She said that the women already know about the extra ten pounds and have no need to discuss it, but men are oblivious and need that blunt remark from another man to even notice. I said that’s not true, I noticed when I had to punch a new hole in my twenty-year-old belt first. I only decided to do something when I realized others noticed too! Anyway, I guess this is how life works. Men are from Mars and women are from Venus or something like that. Good luck and try not to offend the opposite gender too much.

Sincerely, Dear Crabby

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