Dear Crabby, Why can’t a retired guy stay retired?

Dear Crabby,

I retired a year or so ago, but for some reason my wife insists that I go out and continue to work a menial job. Why shouldn’t I be able to sit around at home and relax? I mean, I put my 30 years in already. She works a part-time job and feels that I need to be more productive, even though I have taken care of the house and the cars and all of our basic needs with my income over the years. Help me – I’m very frustrated!

Sincerely Overworked in Orion,

Dear Overworked in Orion,

Well, it sounds like you are really upset about this, but it also sounds like you are being pushed around by the missus. That would never happen in my house! That being said, I will do my best to assume what it must be like to be forced into doing something you do not want to do. The manly side of me says that you should tell your wife no, hold your ground, and do what you want to do. After all, you are the alpha-male and the Big Kahuna, right? However, the sympathetic and realistic part of me that has been DearCrabbymarried for over 50 years says, “You should talk to your wife and find out what her main concerns are and what you can do to comfort her.” It seems to me that if you do not need the extra income, there is some other reason that your wife doesn’t want you to sit around all day. It could be that she wants to know where you are and by having a job, she will know right where you are. It could be that she wants more money than you have, just in case. Or, think outside the box with me here, it could be that she cares about your wellbeing and knows that your health will slide downhill fast if you sit around all day and everyday!  I don’t know anything about you, but what if there was a place you could volunteer?  Would she be alright with that? I know that the assisted living places are always looking for help with drivers, visitors, and more. Also the local Lions Clubs, Rotary Clubs, and Kiwanis Clubs all keep busy with community efforts and are looking for more members.  If the money doesn’t matter, then think about the time and your wellbeing. If you are kind of like me, and just really don’t like being around people too much, then maybe you can find an outlet on your own. I know some people enjoy woodworking, or making models, or other things that can be donated or given as gifts to those with needs. I think the old lady just wants to see you contributing to society and not sleeping all day and dwindling away to non-existence while you are retired. Well, I hope that helps, because now I have to go complete the list that Mrs. Crabby gave me this morning, or else she gets really upset and I don’t like that!  Good luck and let me know how it goes!

Sincerely, Dear Crabby

Stuck in a rut? Need some biased advice from a crabby old baby-boomer? Go to and ask your question.


About Dear Crabby

Stuck in a rut? Need some biased advice from a crabby old baby-boomer? Read regularly by thousands and loved by some, Dear Crabby answers questions weekly to life's challenges. Send him a note at

Speak Your Mind