Dear Crabby, Why do men hold doors open but then cut us off in the parking lot?

Dear Crabby,

Why is it that men will hold a door open for a woman, but will then cut them off in the parking lot to get the better parking spot? Doesn’t this seem hypocritical? I mean are these men for real or what?

Sincerely, Sick and Tired

Dear Sick and Tired,

Well, I have been on both sides of this coin. I was always raised to open doors for ladies and to be a gentleman. However, I was also raised to be competitive and to seek to get the best parking spot. I cannot always tell if the other driver is a man or a woman, so I just seek to get that good spot whenever possible. I would like to say that I would gladly give up the spot if I clearly saw that it was a lady waiting for it. However, I would be lying if I said that that never happened. We often lose sight of the bigger picture when we are consumed with our own circumstances. For example, I remember a friend of mine said he once prayed for a close parking spot, then said, “Never mind God, one just opened up so I don’t need your help anymore!” Now when I said I have been on both sides of the coin, I was remembering the time a young lad opened a door for me at a department store, then later snatched the last sale item that I had gone in there to get! I said, “Hey that’s the whole reason I came in here, kid!” To which he just smirked and mumbled something like,DearCrabby “You snooze, you lose!” It seemed to me that this kid was thinking of others one minute and then thinking only of himself the next. How could someone be so double-minded? I think the simple answer is that people are trained as children to have certain manners, but then our human nature takes over and we are all inherently selfish. However, I don’t believe it’s always selfishness that prompts such behavior. For instance, I occasionally get over to Starbucks to get my coffee. Every once in a while someone will start paying for the person behind them as well, and the trend will continue for several people. I asked an employee how long it usually lasts and they told me sometimes as many as 20 people will continue the process. I was impressed, but then wondered who the selfish person is that stops the trend and does not pay for the next person after getting a free drink? Later, I was talking to Mrs. Crabby and she told me that when she went through Starbucks, some nice person in front of her paid for her drink. I asked if she paid for the next person and she said, “No, but that would have been a good idea. I never thought of it.” So, it is not always selfishness or greed; it can be innocence at times, too. I say do your best, raise your kids to do the same, and have some hope for the human race. At the very least you can give up a parking spot yourself every once in a while. Good luck, and let me know how it turns out.

Sincerely, Dear Crabby

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