Dear Crabby,
Every summer, it’s the same thing. I take my kids to a community pool, and there’s always someone who gets mad about the kids splashing in the water. What’s their deal? Don’t they realize that’s what kids are supposed to do in a cold pool on a hot summer day?
Sincerely, Getting Heated
Dear Getting Heated,
Well I am probably one of those irritating folks that would be yelling at the kids too – but that’s just what I do! I can see where some people just want to enjoy the pool and relax, while youngsters like to splash and play more. I fought it for a while, in my usual fashion. At first, I just started yelling and complaining to the people in charge. I quickly learned that that wasn’t getting me anywhere fast. I then resorted to more extreme measures and thought of some key phrases to say around these kids and their parents. One of my favorites was to yell loudly to Mrs. Crabby, “Hey Hon, is my hemorrhoid cream waterproof this time?” That usually kept those kids away from my area of the pool! The other tactic I would use around the kids was to wrap my lips over my teeth and ask them if they saw any dentures floating near them. If neither of those things worked, I would bring a cup in the pool with me and hold it upside down until they got close to me, then I would turn it over and let all the
bubbles come up from under me and I would say, “Oh my, please excuse me. Those tacos just don’t go well with my prune juice!” That usually got more than just the little ones out of the pool – and for quite a while! But, you know what? These little stinkers really know how to get back at me! I belonged to a community pool for a while, and three times in a row that pool was closed due to a little one messing in the pool. Then, some of the parents would bring their little ones in with a swim diaper on. What’s the point of a swim diaper? The liquid part is still going to mix into the pool, it just slows down the solid part a little! I guess the best answer is to just buy your own pool and make your own rules! But, if you are not able to do that, like the missus and myself, then you may want to come up with some “one-liners” of your own to keep the unwanted guests away. I am not sure if my perspective helps you or if it just disgusts you even more, but obviously there are different strokes for different folks! Hopefully, there are enough pools out there to keep all kinds of people happy during the warm weather! Good luck, and happy swimming!
Sincerely, Dear Crabby
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