Dear Crabby,
Every time I get hurt my wife ends up laughing at me. I think she still cares about me, but it seems to just hit a funny bone with her anytime I get injured. Should I be concerned?
Sincerely, Sorry Charlie
Dear Sorry Charlie,
I know this routine for sure. Shortly after we were married I hit my thumb with a hammer and that wife of mine started laughing uncontrollably! It was ridiculous! I actually forgot about my pain for a few minutes and just watched her in unbelief as she laughed like crazy. After I had a daughter it was even worse, they would have a group laugh when I got hurt. For example, when I accidentally whacked my nose with the back of the hammer and broke my nose, I screamed so loud and they came running to see. I was standing there with a bloody nose and crying in pain and they both started laughing. I think they felt bad at first, but they still laughed. Then we went to the doctor’s office and he had a set my nose straight. He reached up without much warning and pulled it right back into place. I screamed again just like the first time! And as my eyes cleared and room stopped spinning I looked over at my supportive women and found them laughing hysterically again at my situation. Then we get home and I get to wear this horrendous looking bandage across my nose for a couple weeks and every time I started to tell someone the story, they broke out in laughter again. Now, I have tried to understand whether this is some sort of sadistic dark side that they are displaying or just some whacky sense of humor that they were born with. I have decided it may be a little of both. However, turn this situation around and see where that finds you! Mrs. Crabby fell on the ice once and looked really silly, so I let out a little laugh. You would have thought that laughed at Old Yeller when he was shot! She lectured me about how a good caring man would be concerned and wouldn’t even think of laughing at his true love. I asked, “What about when you laugh at me?” She said it is totally different because she is a lady. I don’t know about that, but I do know that nothing cracks her up more than me getting injured somehow. There was the time the cat clawed up my face and my eye was red for weeks, and all the times I whacked my head on the upper cabinet when I stood up in our kitchen, as well as when I have shut the door on my finger somewhere. Yes, these things really happen to me on a regular basis, why does everyone always ask me that? Anyway, I guess don’t take it too personally and know that I am in the same boat at least. Good luck and let me know if you ever find out why your wife laughs.
Sincerely, Dear Crabby
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Dear Crabby. Your wife is dangerous. If you were seriously injured, her first instinct is to laugh and marginalize your pain, physical and emotional;. She doesn’t care if you hurt or not. If i were you, i would place divorce papers where she will find them and see if she still laughs. You simply do not have her respect.
I totally agree! I think laughing at someone’s pain and misfortune is not only rude and mean spirited but its a lack of respect an empathy for that person who is actually grimacing in pain physically hurting and then emotionally hurting when the person they married is standing over them laughing hysterically over them. I was raised with the idea that you don’t laugh at someone’s misfortunes whether or not they are accident prone or not. I strongly believe that in order to receive compassion, kindness and respect you have to display and demonstrate this quality first. I am dealing with my own wife who continues to laugh at me in front of my face when I fall and get injured after more than a dozen attempts to tell her that I dont find it amusing and how hurtful it is. She tells me she needs help and can’t stop on her own for some reason. It’s how she was raised according to her where she learned it from her mom laughing and her dad. Now they are divorced and I’m pondering maybe it was the staw that broke the camels back? My solution is to not expose myself to those situations and not engage in couple activities like skiing, water sports or other activities that im not good in and she is to prevent these situations and to her seek counseling and some cognitive behavioral changes to change her reaction to injuries when they do occur. Maybe this new year I can have a wife who finally shows compassion for my injuries instead of a sadistic uncontrollable laughter that she is unable to suppress or extinguish on her own.