Dear Crabby, Why is Everything Pumpkin Flavored?

Dear Crabby, Seems as though this time of year everything is Pumpkin Flavored, why is that?

Sincerely, Jack O’Spice


Dear Jack,

Really, the only thing that should be pumpkin flavored is pumpkin pie. A traditional dessert during the holidays, pumpkin pie is the finish to all good gatherings this time of year. At the start of fall and on though the New Year, pumpkin pie should be offered at least once per week.

Dear Crabby with a Laptop ComputerPie aside, pumpkin flavored food treats are everywhere. I’ve seen Pringles, Pop-Tarts and M&M’s with a pumpkin option. There are pumpkin spice coffee drinks, yogurts, cream cheeses, breads, ice creams, marshmallows, butter, cookies, bagels, and donuts. There is even pumpkin flavored beer, liquor, candles, soaps, and room deodorizers.

Dessert is one thing, but when you start flavoring beverages and stinky stuff like candles, stop, just stop. I don’t want to be fooled into thinking a pumpkin pie is waiting for me when I walk through a door only to discover it’s a scented candle burning to give the house a “holiday aroma.” If you want the house to smell like the holidays, bake a pumpkin pie, then invite me over.

To answer your question, America wants it I guess. Why else would everything have a pumpkin flavor – Holiday Special, The Color Orange – who knows? The reports I’ve read have pumpkin flavored items increasing exponentially. And while some of that is year-round, thankfully, it seems to be concentrated to the fall season. Get used to it is the answer.

As a novelty, I suppose a pumpkin spice donut from a local cider mill is okay. In addition, maybe pumpkin spice bread would be all right too. However, again, pie is really the only thing that should be pumpkin—not flavored—made from real pumpkins.

If you can’t make pie from a pumpkin, carve it and put it on your front porch and let beer be beer-flavored and coffee be coffee-flavored.

Great question, but now I’m craving pumpkin pie, thanks.

Dear Crabby

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