Dear Crabby,
Why are there so many wars and people fighting today? I mean, every time I open the paper or turn on the news there are people fighting overseas and even in our own country. What’s the deal with all these people?
Sincerely, Peaceful Pete
Dear Peaceful Pete,
I know exactly what you mean, my friend. Why all these people need to bicker and fight all the time is beyond me. Ever since I was a young man, I have heard about the wars and battles in the Middle East with Israel and Iraq and Saudi Arabia. But, then I think about it and the United States has been in wars and battles almost just as often. We jumped into both World Wars, started the Revolutionary War, and then had our own Civil War since we apparently ran out of other countries to battle with! I have pondered many times about where all this trouble comes from and have come to one conclusion – it starts with food! As far back as recorded history shows, trouble always starts with food. Take for instance the two youngsters in the Garden. The man was hungry and asked the woman for something to eat. She grabs some fruit, has him bite it, and bam – all sorts of trouble started! From that point on, people are seen throughout the world fighting over food or land every couple pages in the history books. I don’t know if I was just a hungry lad during history class or if it’s really true that all these battles were waged over food of some sort, but it makes sense to me. Remember the Hundred Years War? I think I’m correct in saying that it was ultimately about French pancakes. Of course, I can’t blame them; I’ve got quite a hankering for those as well. The list goes on. Not only was the War of Roses started over English muffins, it was brought to its conclusion by them also. The Cold War was started by some Russian guy whose eggs were cold! I’m not sure if these were the exact facts, but that’s how I remember them. Like I say, it makes sense. The worst fights between the missus and me were all when I was hungry. I think if we kept all these people well fed with good home cooking we would have peace in no time! That’s part of the reason I always voted for Colonel Sanders for President, hoping that instead of higher taxes we would all end up with some good tasting fried chicken as our annual bonus. Oh well, he’s not around anymore and none of these current guys are smart enough to promise food, so I guess we are back to the fighting again. I hope that clears things up for you. All this talk has made me so hungry now, I’ve got to go find some food.
Sincerely Dear Crabby
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