Dear Crabby,
Just when you think Michigan’s orange barrel season might be tapering off – boom! The big I-75 project starts. Do you really think it will take as long as they’re saying? If so, I may need to move.
Thanks,
Bob Bitumen
Dear Bob Bitumen,
First, I think it’s hilarious that you believe orange barrel season ever ends in this state. I’m pretty sure somewhere there is still some road being worked on dating back to when Michigan became a state in 1837. Second, I definitely think it’s going to take the 14 years they’re estimating. Heck. I wouldn’t be 
surprised if it took longer! There’s no denying that I-75 is in pretty bad shape, but did we really have to wait and do it all at once? I’m already going dizzy thinking of all the lane shifts and how once drivers finally understand the pattern, it will shift to a new one. Not to mention driving in this mess during the winters. The fact that ‘winter’ is plural makes me shiver. Maybe it’s time I look into a permanent Florida residence. A buddy of mine was telling me about this church over in Spain that’s been under construction for over 120 years! And it’s not even close to being done yet. In fact, it’s going to take until 2026, which will be 100 years after the designer’s death. Is that crazy or what? Years from now people will be telling their grandkids what they were during the great construction apocalypse of I-75. To put it all in perspective, during those 14 years… we’ll have three more presidential elections, almost 40 superhero movies will be released, and a lot of you will get at least one child from kindergarten to high school graduation. Some of y’all may even become empty-nesters! And since I’m such an optimistic guy, I’m gonna say there’s a good chance the Detroit Lions may even win a Super Bowl.
So, merge responsibly and remember to use your blinker when changing lanes… and changing lanes again.
Sincerely,
Dear Crabby
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