Dear Crabby,
I heard that we have a chance to break the snowfall record from 1881 this year. Wouldn’t that be exciting? I have been marking the snowfall numbers on my calendar at work and I am hoping for a huge office party when we finally break the record! What are your plans for celebrating?
Sincerely, Overly Perky
Dear Overly Perky,
What are my plans for celebrating? So far I have been closing my eyes and hoping that when I open them it will be the middle of May with temps in the 70s again! You will have to remember that I do not work in an office anymore, and I would not celebrate more snow on the ground regardless if records are set. The snowfall record in Detroit is 93.6 inches, set back in 1881. So far, Detroit has recorded 90.7 inches of snow this year, meaning three inches of snow is needed for a new record. No, I was not there in 1881 in order to celebrate with my office friends! But I have been here for all 90.7 
inches of shoveling nightmares this season! I think the only one celebrating in my life is my chiropractor, who has been able to see me more this year than ever before! I guess the one advantage to having a new record set this year is then I can at least say that I lived through the worst winter on record. On the downside, every winter after this when I complain about having to shovel snow, people will always tell me that it isn’t as bad as the year the record was broken. This simply wouldn’t be true! If it is below freezing, and there is any snow at all to be shoveled, it is just as bad in my book! I don’t care if there was 9 inches or 90 inches – it all falls on my driveway and I have to fight frostbite and pulled muscles to clear it off! So while you and your office buddies are throwing parties and eating cake, I will be grumbling and whining about my cold feet and my aching back! What are you actually celebrating anyway – surviving? I mean, you will not have done anything to achieve this record; it will be done with or without any of our involvement. I would be more interested in celebrating winter being over; call me for that one! Until then, I will be snuggled up in my house waiting for the sun to return to Michigan, complaining about the snow and cold lasting too long. And no, I don’t want to move to Florida! Stop suggesting that like everyone else does. Good luck, and I hope you get your party.
Sincerely, Dear Crabby
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