My Adult Son Won’t Leave Home!

Dear Crabby,

My son just graduated college and cannot find a job.  He has moved back into our house and just lays around on the couch all day.  What can I do to get him up and out on his own?


College Grad’s Mom

Dear College Grad’s Mom,

If Dear Crabby had a dollar for every time a parent asked him how to get their adult child to grow up, he probably wouldn’t have to give himself haircuts.  Let me begin by congratulating your son on his accomplishment.  A University degree, as well as the honor that goes along with it, deserves a hearty measure of “atta boy!”  That being said, it is now time for the crabinator to dish out a little tough love on mom.

Why are you allowing your full grown son to lay around your house doing nothing?  I know it is hard to see the little fellow go out on his own, but Dear Crabby is thinking that now might be the time to cut the cord.  Crabby knows that it is scary to push the little birdy out of the nest and see if he can fly, but the sooner you do it,  the easier it will be.  Will your son make it?  I don’t know – certainly not if he vegetates on your couch the rest of his life.  Now for some practical solutions. 

When Mrs. Crabby and I had some guests that had overstayed their welcome, yours truly decided to veer off the path of decent attire and get comfy in my tattered boxers.  It took about fifteen minutes before those bothersome guests realized that, yes, Dear Crabby was indeed cooking their dinner in his undies.  A half hour later they had said their goodbyes and Mrs. Crabby had the guest room bed sheets changed.  If you do not share the same “self-confidence” that Dear Crabby possesses, perhaps you could begin by shutting off the cable tv and internet.  Whichever route you choose, Dear Crabby wishes you and your son luck in sorting out your relationship.

Pondering a problem?  Stuck in a rut?  Dear Crabby can help you out!  Email your questions to

About Dear Crabby

Stuck in a rut? Need some biased advice from a crabby old baby-boomer? Read regularly by thousands and loved by some, Dear Crabby answers questions weekly to life's challenges. Send him a note at